These are heady days, readers, should I say, reader, heady fucking days.
According to the BBC, a team of scientists has successfully created an invisibility cloak.
I know what you're thinking, 'does that mean I can buy an invisible suit like what Solid Snake did have and then walk up to Tony Blair in Prime Ministers question time and slap his face using a wet kipper thats been soaked in petrol?'
Unfortunately you cannot.
On closer inspection the team had 'managed to hide most of a copper cylinder from microwaves'.
Now that will be all well and good when we get attacked by The Man With Microwave Eyes, but currently I think thats a big fat load of nothing.
Dead important Secret Science HQ, somewhere underground...
'Hey Bazzer, shall we have a go at curing cancer?'
'Nah mate, Lets hide all our copper coins from TMWME, and afterwards Im going to paint some antelope green and then play a slap bass guitar solo at them'
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
War! huh, yeah! what is it good for
So another isolated island of utopia between the oceans of the week draws to a close.
What a load of pretentious shite.
The enclave that is the 8th floor appears to have developed some enemies.
As part of the 8th floor contingent myself I'm beginning to become slightly obsessed by this.
Firstly lots of food went missing.Bread, pizzas,cheese, shallots, cosmic dust from saturn, that sort of thing.
Then we were subject to a latenight viscious and entirely unprovoked condiment attack. It was like Tarantino had filmed reservoir dogs in a kitchen in the suburbs of Amsterdam using sauce, no actors and a complete lack of dialogue.
When I was empowered by Fink brau yesterday I decided to hide in the kitchen and wait in order to catch our nemesis with crimson mitts.
I took a seat on the sofa next to the bear.
'Whats up?' I asked him.
No reply.Bear was keeping schtum.
'come on', I said, 'Don't be like that'.
The bear sat there, with that huge smirk on his face like he was laughing at me.
I proved to him that I too, could play the silent game.
In the event I soon quickly tired of my vigilante ways and the conversation simply wasn't good enough.Never try and talk to a three foot inanimate bear called Harold when youre motivation is wavering.
What a load of pretentious shite.
The enclave that is the 8th floor appears to have developed some enemies.
As part of the 8th floor contingent myself I'm beginning to become slightly obsessed by this.
Firstly lots of food went missing.Bread, pizzas,cheese, shallots, cosmic dust from saturn, that sort of thing.
Then we were subject to a latenight viscious and entirely unprovoked condiment attack. It was like Tarantino had filmed reservoir dogs in a kitchen in the suburbs of Amsterdam using sauce, no actors and a complete lack of dialogue.
When I was empowered by Fink brau yesterday I decided to hide in the kitchen and wait in order to catch our nemesis with crimson mitts.
I took a seat on the sofa next to the bear.
'Whats up?' I asked him.
No reply.Bear was keeping schtum.
'come on', I said, 'Don't be like that'.
The bear sat there, with that huge smirk on his face like he was laughing at me.
I proved to him that I too, could play the silent game.
In the event I soon quickly tired of my vigilante ways and the conversation simply wasn't good enough.Never try and talk to a three foot inanimate bear called Harold when youre motivation is wavering.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Living for the freak end
Another working week draws to a close. I use the term working in a most loose manner.
This is the list of stuff what i must still complete.
*I still need to buy a new bike. I dont like being johnny NO bike.
*DO some revision
*Do some essays
*Buy some beer. ( this is an ongoing quest)
*Create a massively popular website and sell it to Google for a trillion Euro Dollars
*Become a virtuoso on piano and be able to recite Rachmaninoff's opus 23.Or whatever its called.You would have thought composers would come up with more catchy names.Elitist Bastards.
Our Kids bet of the week, in a new feature which I will certainly abandon instantly, Is Derby county to beat Birmingham city 15 -0 and England to beat Australia by 11 wickets.
I hope to be back with an amusing anecdote about badgers later.
Peace out
This is the list of stuff what i must still complete.
*I still need to buy a new bike. I dont like being johnny NO bike.
*DO some revision
*Do some essays
*Buy some beer. ( this is an ongoing quest)
*Create a massively popular website and sell it to Google for a trillion Euro Dollars
*Become a virtuoso on piano and be able to recite Rachmaninoff's opus 23.Or whatever its called.You would have thought composers would come up with more catchy names.Elitist Bastards.
Our Kids bet of the week, in a new feature which I will certainly abandon instantly, Is Derby county to beat Birmingham city 15 -0 and England to beat Australia by 11 wickets.
I hope to be back with an amusing anecdote about badgers later.
Peace out
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
A hoy hoy
Well its a good job I didnt promise to update every day, as i would have broken it, par excellence.
However, I have a reason. 'Oh no you don't', I hear you cry.
Well I do.I went for a short break in the capital of the EU, Brussels.
Very Enjoyable it was too.
Whilst I was tempted to shout 'BACK OFF BRUSSELS!' Like a right wing wanker, I didnt think my international compatriots would see the irony.
Im sure youre familiar with manneken Pis, it really is amazingly dissapointing.I had prepared myself for the dissapointment, yet i still was.
It really is the most overated attraction since the magic stone of Alvaston, Derby was unveiled.
Needless to say I bought some choccies .I picked a small yet attractive box and the woman behind the counter said ' ah hello youre Englissh yessh?, That'll be 15 000 Euro please'.Or something similar.
She'd better enjoy every last one .Even the coffee creams.
After that we retired to a chinese restaurant where I asked for the special but the poor lady apparently mistook this for 'I'd like a plate of chicken soaked in lemon jam please'.
However, I have a reason. 'Oh no you don't', I hear you cry.
Well I do.I went for a short break in the capital of the EU, Brussels.
Very Enjoyable it was too.
Whilst I was tempted to shout 'BACK OFF BRUSSELS!' Like a right wing wanker, I didnt think my international compatriots would see the irony.
Im sure youre familiar with manneken Pis, it really is amazingly dissapointing.I had prepared myself for the dissapointment, yet i still was.
It really is the most overated attraction since the magic stone of Alvaston, Derby was unveiled.
Needless to say I bought some choccies .I picked a small yet attractive box and the woman behind the counter said ' ah hello youre Englissh yessh?, That'll be 15 000 Euro please'.Or something similar.
She'd better enjoy every last one .Even the coffee creams.
After that we retired to a chinese restaurant where I asked for the special but the poor lady apparently mistook this for 'I'd like a plate of chicken soaked in lemon jam please'.
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